I've been thinking a lot about the meaning of life. Why are we here? Why am I here? What is my purpose? Do I even have a purpose? Thinking about the answers to these questions can occupy me for hours. While I may have patience when I knit, I seem to be lacking it when trying to figure out life's most important questions. I wanna know NOW....but I'll finish blocking that sweater later.
I feel a bit restless, like I'm waiting for something to happen. I have to remind myself to enjoy the journey of life, but I can't help but be anxious about the future. I'm both excited and terrified at the same time. Isn't that oxymoronic or something? Thinking about my life is like reading a really good book and loving every minute of it. But sometimes it's really hard to resist the urge to turn to the last page and see how it all ends. My life, in a paradox nutshell.
I pick at my cuticles when I get anxious. Sometimes I do it so much that my fingers will bleed. It's terrible. If I'm really stressed, I have to put bandaids on my fingers to stop myself from unknowingly causing more fingertip trauma. You can tell when things are going well for me if I have a freshly painted manicure.
About five minutes ago, I was watching "Letters from Iwo Jima" with James, and the gunshots and killing got to be a bit too much for me to handle. I almost picked my damn fingernails off, so I had to retreat to the bedroom for some laptop therapy. I do not like movies about war. I know that it is important to remember my nation's history and all of the women and men who died to make this country a better place, however, I do not want the graphic details. Being a very sensitive and emotional woman, I tend to strongly relate to the movie characters and feel what they feel - happiness, sadness, terror, pain, etc. While this can make for very entertaining movie watching , it can at times be very draining and unhealthy for my emotional state. This is the very reason why I do not watch the news. I honestly will never understand why people want to watch or read about bad things happening to good people. I'd rather hear about good things happening to good people, and focus on the wonderful things that make up our world. The damn media is always trying to rain on my happy parade. Buttheads.
I got a bit of sock knitting done this past weekend at the beach. The yarn is from KnitPicks, but I don't think they make it anymore. I'm not really using a pattern for these socks, other than some basic sock knitting instructions I found on the internet. 